Image by Leo Chane

Ode

Updated: Dec 31, 2021


An unparalleled ode to the sole love,

that's still in me,

for you, just you

it's another new year,

just another new year

and here I am, writing the last wistful letter of love from this year,

tawny lights are up at places but it's still you,

just you lighting up my untamed heart,

people are calling out each other's names, quite loudly you know?

and here I am, faintly whispering yours,

just yours, to myself.

I am seeing hands being held as I sink in and let my love consume me, just me.

I don't really know what's going on around me, it never really mattered you know?

all of it spins around me and all of me spins around you, just you.

They're telling me a journey is ending you know? And that a new one is starting

But I wannabe home you see, home, my home, my happy place,

the one around you, just you.

There are so many iridescent colours you know, surrounding me, like a dwarf schefflera

and as I write this letter in black smudges on a white paper, my brain is forming these mosaic pictures from those colours, of you, just you.

that's, oh that's surprising, is it in love with you too?

Balloons and glitters and the other glowy things you know? Ugh, of course you do

I'd rather just decorate the one-way door to my monologue with some more pretty words, in case someday you open it, the key belongs to you anyway, just you.

It's not the first time an year is passing, you know?

and I'm carrying all of it, the love, the memories, the paradise in your eyes, the essence of your existence, all of it, just all of it to the next year.

I'm losing myself you know, maybe

But I'm not losing you and that's safe enough, just enough.

everything's passing through me like a spectral wave, like it's trying to snatch away all that's precious to me, and it's all you, you know? just you.

why is everything moving on anyway?

you know, I'm scared just..ask all of it to halt, to slow down, for me and maybe

Just maybe for you, for us, just us.


-Aadya Srivastava

 

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