Discerned Words

It's dark here and I have always been afraid of the vibes it brings. You know my heart is numb, You know my soul shivers, You know my mind is at pause, You know I am gasping for air, Oh, do you notice any of it? Or the light of others made me Dim in front of it. Oh, it's not the light nor the darkness. It's you who never noticed, The uneasiness you brought with you. You gave me what I never asked you for. You made me go from I love being around you, To I gasp for air around you. You made me feel unwanted, vulnerable. Is it okay to say, I love you but I don't want to? Because it's lovely to be here alone, I am in the process of healing, I won't let you steal my vibe again. Every time you didn't hear me, You murdered my emotions, You slaughtered them with your words. Things and places that once I loved Now threatens me. You know why? Because I don't wanna feel the pain, I don't want my eyes to be the ocean of regret Nor do I want my heart to be the broken, shattered organ that will help me to survive. Rather I want to be in the colors, I want to feel the world full colors, And it's definitely brighter than your words. And I know one day, This darkness will no more haunt me And I will live free!

-Mariyam Khan

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